Pet peeves (the non-political ones)

  • People who talk too much and/or too loud.
  • People who laugh too loud. (I’m not against laughter, mind you. I like a funny as much as the next person. It just doesn’t have to be 100 decibels.)
  • Those who wait for a car about to pull out of parking space (and hold up those behind them) when the one two spaces down is empty.
  • School zones.
  • Fat people at the supermarket who drive one of those motorized carts and take up just enough of the aisle where I can’t get by with a shopping cart. (Why aren’t you WALKING?)
  • People I don’t know or don’t know very well who begin sentences that begin with “You should.”
  • Small talk. (This is irks most introverts.) Either ask me the meaning of life or don’t talk to me at all.
  • Those who, as soon as they find out what I do for a living, immediately ask, “Oh, what’s the forecast?”
  • Fast-food workers who ask if I want cheese when I order a hamburger. I don’t eat many of these anymore, but in the rare event I do order a hamburger, they always ask if I want cheese. No, if I wanted cheese, I would have ordered a cheeseburger.
  • Extroverts who tell me, “Why are you so quiet? Is anything the matter?” (Possible comebacks: “Well, why are you so loud?” or “I’d like to talk but I can’t seem to get a word in because you won’t shut up.” or “I’ve taken a strict vow of silence at the monastery.” or “I’m too busy listening to the voices in my head.”)

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